Growing up, my dad would sit at the dining room table, reading the paper and having his breakfast, usually a glass of orange juice and peanut butter toast. As I got older, I became more involved. We would talk about some of the stories, I would steal the comic section. I’d peek over his shoulder and read the headlines or sometimes just steal a whole section! It was a typical thing during my childhood, seeing an adult sitting at the table reading a paper. But nobody does it anymore. Now people read the news on their phones. I’ve mentioned before, that we have a no phone rule at the table, so where do you draw the line…no phones at the table period? Try to explain the difference of content to our young child and how videos and Elmo’s alphabet game aren’t allowed but what mommy does is, it feels hypocritical.
To avoid having my phone out at breakfast, I usually try to have a morning coffee and catch up on Social Media and news later in the morning if we’re at home. I might be at the table or I might be on the couch. Either way, if I have my phone or iPad out, my son will compete for my attention. If I’m cleaning up the kitchen, he’s usually happy to play on his own, but not when I’m using technology. This makes me feel guilty about using technology around him, which, at the end of the day, parents need to do.
When we’re searching for preschools, we’re looking online, not reading a dozen pamphlets. Enrolling children in activities is now done online. When we’re shopping, we’re looking at a website, not flyers or catalogues. If our child is sick, we don’t get out our “Dr. Mom Encyclopedia”, we go to medical sites. But how can we differentiate sitting around on our phone, killing time texting and Facebooking over actually doing regular, daily tasks that are now done online. More importantly, how can we demonstrate that to our children???
I think I’m old fashion and when I see someone on a phone or tablet, I automatically think texting or “playing”, errands and must dos and errands don’t usually come to mind, although I use my phone for these things all the time!
A perfect example of this is church. If you attend church, look around your congregation and note how many people follow along with an actual Bible and how many people use a Bible App! The other week I looked around and it actually appeared as though people had tuned the pastor out and were playing on their phones! Of course they weren’t, they were following along, but again, it’s my old school perception of phones.
So what’s the answer??? …I wish I had it! As you know, I try to limit my use of technology around my son as much as I can because I know he picks up on it, but at the end of the day, I have stuff I need to do…for my son…which needs to be done on a computer or tablet and unfortunately, with him napping less and less I’m not able to limit these “technology errands” to nap time.
I try to tell me son what I’m doing…”mommy’s shopping” and he can sit on my lap at the computer and we talk about all the things we see in the pictures…which makes it a very slow process but at least he understands and is involved. I still put him first and if he asks me to play, I tell him what I’m doing and explain I will play when I’m finished (but of course he doesn’t always want to wait!). I don’t do these things while we’re out besides bringing up an online flyer for a price match or something quick. But unfortunately, I don’t know the answer, I don’t know how to set an example for my son to not always have a piece of technology on hand when that is the way of the world. I guess, like everything else, the key is to be mindful and aware of our actions.